Losers Reapers
by Thefreakoutsideyourwindow
Summary: "I made a mistake." In which Prompto eats a Lestallum Reaper pepper, and regret comes in the form of buckets of sweat.


"I made a mistake."

This is the first thing out of Prompto's mouth, surprisingly, instead of the fried Lestallum Reaper pepper currently wreaking havoc on his taste buds. Granted, a triple dog dare is a triple dog dare (and he likes his hair on his head, thank you very much), but he really wishes he hadn't challenged Noct to the dare contest in the first damned place to begin with. He also wishes he thought of a more challenging dare for Noct than reaching the top of one of far too many 20 storey sky scrapers (he forgot about Noct's warping ability in his haste) but hey, hindsight is 20-20.

They're currently sat at the island of Noct's decent sized (and king sized considering vacant apartment space in Insomnia) kitchen/dining room, the gentle sodium glow of lamplight in the young night a sharp contrast to the heated pain searing through his mouth, oesophagus and fuck he's not sure he can feel his face anymore. He knows, rationally, that he can just go over to the sink and plunge his head into the icy waters that have been stored in preparation for his stupidity, but he's past the point of rational thinking as the room has decided to all but fuzz out and he's about 90% certain he's got sweat pores _on every single one of his freaking_ _ **hairs**_ _._

Noct, of course, best friend extraordinaire that he is, cannot help but laugh and record the glory of the unfolding situation on his shiny new phone. Ass.

"P-Prom, holy shit _your face!_ " The prince wheezes, his hand moving rapidly between them as if his body debates clutching his shaking diaphragm or giving some semblance of comfort to his dear, _painfully suffering_ best friend. A moment later and Noct's hand rests on his belly as he continues to laugh. Once again, Ass.

Ultimately though, the whole thing was Prompto's idea. Now he knows these things are hot, grab the scoville scale by the balls and drag it down to H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS levels hot, but numbers are arbitrary until he feels them leaking out of every one of his pores. The expression Ignis gave him when he asked him to pick one up at the market (it looked like someone had poured every can of Ebony down the toilet and repackaged them all with crappy instant coffee) is starting to make more and more sense.

All it took was Noctis coming out of another counsel meeting with the heavy baggage of duty around him as he slumped onto the couch for gaming night and Prompto's mind was set. Because that night it was a bit heavier, his eyes a little bit more empty, motion slower and fuck if Prompto knew that was not a way to go about living, going through the motions each day in the hopes of meeting impossible expectations of others, only to nearly be crushed by the weight of it each time you wake up. Noctis still hasn't told him what went off in that meeting, what got said, but Prompto doesn't need to know, he only needs to be there for Noctis, and the stark relief on his face that day as he sat down sent a sharp pain through Prompto and was a testament to their friendship. ...Nothing like sharing the pain, right?

They sat mostly in silence for the rest of that night, Prompto stretched over the black leather couch (legs over Noctis's, naturally) like a languid house cat as Noct went through the motions of clearing another mission in Assassin's Creed and Prompto scrolled through his phone.

"Hey dude." Prompto said, nudging Noct's leg with his orange and purple sock covered foot, Noct's expression turning slightly annoyed as he nearly presses the wrong button. Heh.

"Hng." Ah, the lovely one grunt response. A little more tact, perhaps?

"Nooooct." Prompto whines, bringing his foot to press against Noct's face slightly, holding back laughter as he sees Noct biting back a smile.

"Mhm." Alright, Prompto thinks, time to break out the big guns.

"Noooct, Nocty-Wocty, ol' buddy ol' pal ol' friend of mine..." He drones as his foot slowly makes his way farther up his face, and when the big toe is less than a millimetre away from picking Noct's nose (not that he'd really do that, boogers are gross), Noct breaks away with a huffed laugh, pausing the game as he shoves his foot away (nearly making Prompto knee himself in the face, _rude_ ) and turns to Prompto with an amused and relaxed smile.

"Yeah?" He asked, lips tilting upwards in the face of his false annoyance. Ah, Prompto thinks with relief and gratitude, that's more like it.

Prompto grins, bringing up his hands like an over-exaggerated car sales man and says, quote:

"We should totally do the reaper challenge!"

Unquote.

"The what now?" Noctis asks, eyebrows tilting in confusion but smile still firmly on his face. "Is this an Overwatch thing or something, because I know you have the hots for that guy but-"

"THAT IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT!" Prompto all but screeches as he flails a pillow at Noct who only snorts and returns in kind (he will staunchly refute the statement that he uses him as his main all the time later).

After a few minutes of rib-crushing agony laughter later (Prompto does not snort-giggle _shut up Noct_ ) Prompto gets back to the main point, "Naw dude, you just eat a pepper called the Lestallum Reaper and record it, supposed to be really hot or something." ( _Oh, past me,_ Prompto thinks as he swallows through the pain, _you sweet and utter fool_ ).

"What, and you think I'd be stupid enough to eat something with 'reaper' in its name?" Noct states, laughing a bit as he goes to pick up his controller to continue the game. "Ignis can claim I'm stupidly vegetable deficient, but even he wouldn't want me eating that."

And that was the end of the pepper incident.

...Until the end of the month when Prompto saw yet another stupid sky scraper being built still in its early construction stages and said to Noctis, "Triple dog dare you to get to the top of that and back down." And Noct, sly, cunning cat that he is, replied with:

"Only if you do the reaper challenge you were so hot about a few weeks ago."

And Prompto, poor, sweet, blessed and undeserving of this cruel world's treatment, replied with "Course, dude!" Ah, the irony of last words.

And that is how Prompto comes to his current conundrum, sweat and oh astrals is that drool?! pouring down his face as he sniffles through the unrelenting heat of the Lestallum Reaper.

Is it possible to sweat regret? Because Prompto thinks this is the closest feeling to that he's ever going to get.

"It's like watching a science experiment gone wrong." Noct says in awe through his laughter, eyeing Prompto with equal parts curiosity and amusement and he goes to poke his swollen and drooling (ew gross) lip.

"Cab I shhpi i ou?" Prompto asks, eyeing up the trash can like a starving man in a desert. The humour of the situation is not totally lost on him, though, but he laughed the first couple of seconds until it burned the back of his throat and huh, hot things hurt, his brain decided as pain shoved rational thoughts out of the driver's seat of his mind.

The moment Noct gives a slight nod of his head Prompto's gone, diving towards the bin and nearly breaking in lid off the top (ignoring the fact that it was a pedal bin in the first place) and tries not to lose his delicious dinner (astrals bless Ignis and his cooking skills) as he spits out every last morsel of the Ifrit-damned pepper and _shit there are seeds of it_ _ **stuck in his teeth**_. He then turns to picking them out of his teeth with his fingernails, muttering something along the lines of "I regret everything" as Noct continues to laugh in the background. He's gone past the point of feeling in his gums, so he's not even sure he's doing it right anymore.

It seems that the astrals do care somewhat for his poor soul, though, as Noctis hands him a cold glass of milk that he downs in 0.5 seconds and most of it stays down (at least his nostrils are cooler on the way up). When he looks back at him, Noctis is now trying to stifle giggles but has put the phone away at least.

"How do you feel, Prom?" He asks, like someone would ask their pregnant wife the first time they feel their baby kick.

"Like Ifrit shat down my throat and dragged his ass over my tongue." Prompto replies, going to take the jug of milk out of the fridge like a prize of gold as his response sets Noctis cackling again. He's pretty sure he's panting like a bitch in heat as he goes between swigs of milk and placing his forehead against the cool of the jug, valiantly ignoring the snot trailing down his nose.

"So, uh," He says between gasps and gulps, sliding to the cool floor as he doesn't trust himself get up and sit in a barstool right now and watches as Noctis joins him, expression now less amused and slightly more concerned (but still holding back laughter, the bastard) "Not my brightest idea, to date."

"You're telling me." Noctis replies, shifting closer to Prompto and leans against him as he continues to sweat through the agony that is over 2 million on the scoville scale. Never again.

After an hour of sweating and agony, however, neither Noctis nor Prompto are laughing as Prompto starts to and then continues to lightly shake, breaths still heaving and wheezing and freshly covered in sweat again in spite of two cold showers. Worry starts to set in.

"Prom, are you sure you're okay?" Noctis asks, looking at Prompto with his brow creased as he places another wet cloth on Prompto's forehead, lessening the sting of heat and _fuck fuck he's fucked it up now_. Because as much as Prompto acts stupid, in the end it is partly an act to keep everyone happy, to keep Noct happy. He channels every bit of himself into trying to be a part of his life that's always there, and always not-shitty, but Prompto's realising (can hot peppers give epiphanic realisations?) that he can try to be everything to everyone, but in the end he's still human, and he's not sure whether he hates that or not.

It takes a couple seconds for Prompto to register that Noctis actually asked him a question (his stomach is going to be killing him for days after this, _ASTRALS_ ) and he replies, "N-nah, I'll be okay, just gotta breathe through it, ya know?"

Noctis doesn't seem too happy with his answer, but accepts it anyway as he picks up the remote and presses a button to turn a generic action movie on for background noise. They've migrated to the couch, now (thank the astrals you can wipe down leather because ew, sweat) and Prompto's got his legs up on Noct's again, pillow over his belly that he's clutching for dear life as Noctis rests his hands on his knees (and Prompto tries not to acknowledge the fact that they tighten whenever he makes a sound of discomfort).

Thankfully, towards the end of the movie the pain begins to lessen somewhat, and by the time the credits roll around Prompto is clinging onto the remains of the waking world as his eyelids start to slip. Noctis reaches over his right side and pulls out a blanket from astrals knows where and moves to place it over Prompto, each movement with deliberate intent on not rousing Prompto.

"M'sorry..." Prompto mutters, words slipping out of his mouth before he even realises he's said them.

The sound makes Noct's head snap up and look towards him, a strange look in his eyes as he responds, "What the hell for?" looking angry at himself as he picks up the remote and turns the now silent TV off. "I was the one who dared you to eat the stupid pepper in the first place." he mutters, looking ashamed in the low lamplight of the room in the now late night (it could be 3am for all Prompto cares).

Prompto tries clearing his throat and immediately winces (oh, hello regret) as pain flickers across his face and ( _dammit_ ) Noctis gets that guilty look growing in his eyes again. He tries once more, voice shaky as he speaks, "First off, I was the one to suggest eating the pepper, not you," he says, looking pointedly at Noct and raises a finger at him as Noct looks ready to interrupt (is interrupting treason? Prompto hopes not) , "Secondly, my stupid ass actually ate, or well -uh chewed, the pepper, not you." he pauses again, looking Noct in the eye to emphasise his point. (Neither of them decide to comment on the fact that Noctis was the one to fry the pepper whole, and that when he added hot sauce, Prompto kept saying "More hot sauce! More hot sauce!" Ah, youth).

They both look away after a few uncomfortable silent seconds, Prompto being the one to sigh for once, as he tries again, "What I meant to say is that... uh this whole pepper thing? Didn't go quite to plan. I wanted it to be a funny thing that we could laugh about. Not..." he pauses, guilt curdling like sour milk in his stomach, "Not another thing for you to worry about."

Noctis pauses on his perch of the couch, whole body going still as he slowly looks down. He is silent for another moment before he asks quietly, voice thick with emotion, "Is that all you think you are to me?"

Prompto, elegance and all, replies with a simple yet succinct, "Huh?"

Noct looks up and oh shit those are actual tears pooling in his eyes, "You think you're just a burden to me if you're not being funny?" He reiterates, hands clenching around the blanket pooled over them.

"Dude, they were just peppers." Prompto tries to counter, grimacing as he realises that he tried to ignore the question with humour, again, proving Noct's previous question to have hit the hammer on the head.

For once, Prompto favours silence in lieu of words, breaths catching as he wants to prove Noctis wrong, show him that he knows he's more than just a funny man to keep Noctis entertained but his insecurities keep bubbling up, catching in his throat like the stupid capsicum that he shoved down there earlier. And Noct continues to look at him, the sad and broken expression growing with each passing second and Prompto finds the courage to speak again, arms moving and shaking as he speaks.

"I know I'm more than that. You're my best friend, Noct, but sometimes when I see you worry, I see everything you have on your shoulders and I just think, fuck, you don't need another burden on there, so even if it's just five minutes of the day I'll be there and I'll be happy and you can be happy too, none of it was supposed to turn into this shit show-" and Prompto knows he's rambling, but he can't help the words from spilling out of him now that they're coming out. He just wanted to make him laugh, be that safe space that everyone needs sometimes, even if it's just for a minute or two. And he knows it's selfish to need to be needed, but Prompto's afraid that the minute he fails to serve a purpose he will go back to being the invisible kid, alone and unwanted.

His self-depreciating tirade is cut short as Noct all but slams into him, arms wrapping around him suspiciously tight as he feels wetness grow on his shoulder from tear drops, "Don't feel like that." Noct mutters, shaking his head as Prompto, stunned, still has his arms open in the air. "Don't ever feel like that, Prom. You're my best fucking friend, and don't feel like you need to always be up whenever I'm down. Just be you. You're more than enough." Noct says with conviction, each word hitting Prompto deep in his core and he realises he's crying too, now, shocked tears rolling down his still splotchy-red face that he'll blame on the pepper later. A heartbeat later and then he has his arms loosely around Noct, still shaking slightly from the adrenaline.

Minutes pass like this as they calm down, losing each other in breaths and the words they said. Cars pass by quietly outside in Insomnia's persistent night life, a quiet ambient rumble through the apartment. Lights slowly go out from apartments opposite them as tenants decide one a reasonable time to retire. Only when the tears have started to dry does Prompto look up and start to pull away, Noct doing the same as he rubs at his already dry and puffy eyes.

After a second of composure, Prompto works up the courage to ask, "But it was funny, right?"

Noct just pulls a stink face but laughs anyway, "Fucks sake Prompto." as Prompto starts to laugh and, soon enough, they both dissolve into cackles, laughter only increasing as Noctis semi-reluctantly shows Prompto the so dubbed 'Pepper Experiment Video' and Prompto loses himself in laughter and tears, pain already on the verge of being forgotten.

Morning will come and he'll regret it all over again, but that's a problem for future Prompto.

Following the self-dubbed 'Reaper Incident' (since it sounded cooler than 'pepper incident', and Prompto insisted) Prompto avoided spicy food for a month, even swearing away from his beloved green curry (Ignis was appalled, and Gladio, bless him, knew it probably wasn't best to ask why).

So when the four of them ended up Lestallum a year later, Insomnia in ruins behind them and the imperial army hot on their heels, they naturally end up in Lestallum's famous markets. After passing a few stalls, Prompto soon smells the doom-impending stench of the Lestallum Reaper from a stall upwind, paling considerably as Noct looks at him in confusion and worry. Of course, worry soon melds to clarity and then humour, as a wicked grin forms on his face (the first smile that Prompto has seen since the fall, and as much as those things burned he'd eat a hundred more if it allowed Noctis to smile again like that, screw the consequences) and Noct innocently asks, "Hey Prom, wanna check that stall out?"

Prompto's bowels, however, still remember the pain and he decides that this time, he'll use his foresight.

The following shriek as Noctis all but drags Prompto to the stall has Noct's advisor and shield sharing a look with each other, Ignis giving a world weary sigh and Gladio shrugging as they move to catch up with the younger members of their party in whatever chaotic scheme they'll get themselves into this time.

And as the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy.

* * *

 **A/N: Poor dear. I based the pepper off the Carolina Reaper, as Lestallum will undoubtedly have hot peppers. I saw a generic prompt (re: first line of this fic) at 9:30pm and now it's midnight and I regret nothing. I am slowly realising I'm an impulse writer. Also, unexpected h/c! Totally meant for this to just be a comedy, but hey, the sadist in me couldn't resist ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**


End file.
